Eroica Five Word Fanfics
by Margaret Price
Summary: Just a bit of fluff and nonsense. If you thought drabbles were hard, try writing a fanfic in five words or less.
1. A Long List Of Short Fics

Disclaimer: _Eroica Yori Ai O Komete_ © Yasuko Aoike and Princess Comics; no profit is being made from this fan production and no disrespect is intended to the original creators. **

* * *

AUTHOR's NOTE:**  
Thank you to Belladonna (dot) org for inspiring these.  
belladonna (dot) org/fivewords (dot) html 

If you thought drabbles were short, try writing a fan fic in five words or less!

Also, because FF (dot) net erases asterisks, I have had to use + instead. Go figure.

* * *

"A smile! It's a beginning."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Going up or down?"

"Middle."

**…?**

**…!**

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Being rear ended is bad?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

The microfilm is inside _what?_"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You, outside. Now!"

"Why?"

"Picnic."

**…!**

**o-o-o-o-o**

"That red shirt…"

"It's yours."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"A lovely green…"

"Just pour."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Blue eyes.

"Never noticed.

"Liar."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Purple?"

"I'm out of red."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Always in brown."

"I'll strip."

…!

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Black like…"

"Just cut it."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Colorless."

"Not with you here."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Friends?"

"Enemies."

"Lovers?"

"Well…okay."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Too much?"

"For you, nein."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"How's that?"

"Not enough."

"Major!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"My sixth sense…"

"Is perverted."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You smell of…

"Pervert!"

+ giggle +

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Don't touch."

+ moan +

"Let me."

…!

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Come see my etchings."

"Nein."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"You stole my heart."

"Idiot."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Diamonds are forever."

"Until stolen."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"We're oil and water."

"So?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"What did you...? Shit!"

**…**

**…**

"Breakfast?"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Drink or me, darling?"

+ growl +

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Snow! Let's play."

"Let's not.

**o-o-o-o-o**

"What did we…? Fuck!"

"Exactly."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Why's it so dark?"

**…**

**…**

**…**

"Pervert!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Major?"

"What?"

whisper

"Pervert!"

**…**

**…**

"Later."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I'm to reach up _where?"_

**o-o-o-o-o**

"When did that happen?

+ giggle +

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Why're you smiling?"

**…**

**…**

"My pants!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Dorian, how do I—?"

**…**

"Oh!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"If I say, yes— **_Ah!_**"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Happy Birthday, Major."

"It was."

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Merry Christmas! I'm your present!"

**o-o-o-o-o**

"Oh, dear. James discovered eBay."

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
**Doctor Who/Eroica Xover**  
  
"Human."

"NATO."

"TCE!"

**KA-BLAM**

"Magnum."

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
"You will obey—"

**KA-BLAM**

"Idiot."

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
"Loot! You stole that!"

"Naturally."

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
"NATO intelligence."

"Contradiction in terms."

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
Replaced Casio-mini with K-9 – James

**o-o-o-o-o**

"The Seal of Rassilon!"

"Tacky."

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
"Jack? What's under that uniform?"

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
STOLEN: Police Box, circa 1963

**o-o-o-o-o**

"I didn't say _play_ doctor!"

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
Dear Diary,  
Have stolen Adric.

**o-o-o-o-o  
**  
Ran off with Adric. –James

**o-o-o-o-o**


	2. A Few More

"I'm your cabana boy."

"Idiot."

**-o-o-o-**

"D'you love me?"

+ growl +

"Sigh."

**-o-o-o-**

"Major?"

"What?"

+ whisper +

"Not now!"

**-o-o-o-**

"Did I ever…?"

"Very probably."

**-o-o-o-**

"Major?"

"No."

"But…"

"Saving time."

**-o-o-o-**

"You hit me!"

"Not hard."

**-o-o-o-**

"Fuck!"

…!

"Pervert!"

"You started it!"

**-o-o-o-**

"It says, 'position wanted.'"

…?

…!

"Pervert!"

**-o-o-o-**

"Major?"

"Wha—! Ow!"

"Love hurts."

**-o-o-o-**

(For Mosellegreen)

"Chronicles of—"

"Narnia."

"Moggy."

"Idiot."

**-o-o-o-**

"Who is this Moggy?"

+ giggle +

**-o-o-o-**

"Belladonna! That's…"

"Drink, Earl?"

+ grrrr +

**-o-o-o-**


	3. Trading Fridge Notes

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: **Someone on the Teaspoon site stated these on a round robin there. Here is my Eroica version.

**

* * *

**

TRADING FRIDGE NOTES

Give back my tank! – Major

oOo

Make me, darling Major – Eroica

oOo

Don't tempt me, pervert – Major

oOo

Is it possible? – Eroica

oOo

Don't change the subject – Major

oOo

What was the subject? – Eroica

oOo

My tank, you idiot! – Major

oOo

Come and get it. – Eroica

oOo

No fucking way. – Major

oOo

Don't listen to him! – James

oOo

Sod off, stingy bug! – Major

oOo

I'll sell your tank! – James

oOo

That's not helping, James – Eroica

oOo

Let me kill him. – Major

oOo

That's not helping either. – Eroica

oOo

Gimme the fucking tank! – Major

oOo

+giggle+ You're on – Eroica

oOo

What the fuck? – Major

oOo

Eroica drags Major into tank.

oOo

From Eroica With Love.

oOo


	4. Some New and Some Canon Fodder

"What're you doing?"

"Something illegal."

**OoOoO**

"You sulk beautifully."

"Shut up!"

**OoOoO**

"KGB, Neo Nazis…!

"Christmas list?"

**OoOoO**

"Where am…?"

"Major?"

"Fuck."

"Please."

**OoOoO**

"Give us a cuddle."

"Major!"

**OoOoO**

"What're you leering at?"

+giggle+

**OoOoO**

"Happy, now, you pervert!"

+sigh+

**OoOoO**

"Kiss me, Major, or…"

**…?**

"Pervert!"

**OoOoO**

"I was right."

"Smug bastard."

**OoOoO**

"I'm gonna kill—"

**…!**

"Wanker!"

**OoOoO**

Dear Diary,

Saved the world.

**OoOoO**

Gone for more bullets – Klaus

**OoOoO**

Gone for sex toys – Dorian

**OoOoO**

Gone completely mad – The Chief

**OoOoO**

Had enough. I quit. – Butler

**OoOoO**

Gone for cigarettes – Klaus

**OoOoO**

For Sale: Tank – see James

**OoOoO**

**FROM CANON**

"I dislike what I dislike!"

**OoOoO**

"I'm pretty bad with machines."

**OoOoO**

"You don't do **_it_** anymore!"

**OoOoO**

You wanna go to Alaska?

**OoOoO**

"Hair like wet crow's feathers."

**OoOoO**

"You klutz!"

"So sorry."

**OoOoO**

"I'll kick him down there."

**OoOoO**

"Be careful of your trousers."

**OoOoO**

"If I'm Christ, you're Judas."

**OoOoO**

"You really are wonderful, Major!"

**OoOoO**

"No touching below the belt!"

**OoOoO**


	5. Some very wrong silliness

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please be warned. Some of these are just very wrong!

* * *

"The beginning of—"

"Foppish nonsense."

**OoOoO**

"You're invited…"

"No!"

+ Smooch +

**…!**

"When?"

**OoOoO**

"Ooo, whips and chains!"

"Pervert!"

**OoOoO**

"Blood!."

"'s okay. Not mine."

**OoOoO**

"You're all I desire…"

+ growl +

**OoOoO**

"You're so…so…"

"_Was?"_

"Vanilla."

**…!**

**OoOoO**

"Ice cream cones! How erotic."

**…!**

**OoOoO**

"That factory…"

"Steal everything?"

**…**

"Okay."

**OoOoO**

"Rack up another victory!"

"Narcissist."

**OoOoO**

"You're such a flashy—"

+smooch+

**…!**

**OoOoO**

"My magazine…?"

"Here."

**…!**

"For _bullets!"_

**OoOoO**

"I want that picture."

"Nein."

**OoOoO**

"Oil!"

"It's a painting."

"Cretin."

**OoOoO**

"What'll I paint?"

"The bedroom?"

**…!**

**OoOoO**

"Silver."

"Gold."

"Cash!"

"James!"

+growl+

**OoOoO**

"Black as night."

"Scared?"

+grrrr+

**OoOoO**

"My white knight!"

"Shut up!"

**OoOoO**

"I'm casting a hex!"

"Idiot."

**OoOoO**

"I'll stick like glue."

**…!**

"Solvent!"

**OoOoO**

"So creamy…"

"Pervert!"

**…**

**…**

"Again, please?"

**OoOoO**

"Bloody, flowery talk."

"More?"

+growl+

**OoOoO**

"Haunted?"

"Not now, darling."

+growl+

**OoOoO**

"Something new!"

"Good. Go away."

**OoOoO**

"Plots, death…"

"Same old thing."

**…!**

**OoOoO**

"The document for _you."_

"Okay."

**…!**

**OoOoO**

"Letter of the law—"

**…!**

"Thief!"

**OoOoO**

"Sense of touch…"

**…!**

"Stop that!"

**OoOoO**

"Your sight…"

"Is overloaded!"

"Cretin."

**OoOoO**

"You smell heavenly, Major."

"Pervert!"

**OoOoO**

"Listen…"

**…**

**…**

"What?"

+whisper+

"Idiot!"

**OoOoO**

"Taste this."

"Wine…?

"Moselle."

**…**

**…**

"B'sst'rd."

**OoOoO**

"You're truly wicked…"

"So?"

**…**

**…**

"Again."

**OoOoO**

"These chains for me?"

"Pervert."

**OoOoO**

"Blood and alcohol don't mix."

**OoOoO**

"Love Potion #9."

"You idiot."

**OoOoO**

"Sink your teeth into…"

**…**

"Ah!"

**OoOoO**

"To taste those lips…"

"Major!"

**OoOoO**

"Kiss?"

**…**

"Okay."

**…**

"No tongues!"

**OoOoO**

"Your hands…"

"Will deck you."

**OoOoO**

"Tired?"

"Yes."

Foot massage?"

**…?**

**…!**

"Okay."

**OoOoO**

"You have nice legs, G."

**…!**

**OoOoO**

"That was slick."

"Really…?"

**…?**

**…!**

"Wanker!"

**OoOoO**

"Satin sheets…"

"No fucking way."

**OoOoO**

"Can you restrain…?"

**…!**

"Not me!"

**OoOoO**

"A pool!"

"Happy drowning."

+grrrr+

**OoOoO**

"A romantic fountain…"

"Coins!"

"James!"

**OoOoO**

"Go shower."

**…!**

"_Alone!"_

"Spoil sport."

**OoOoO**

"American Idol's…"

**KA-BLAM**

"Never mind."

**OoOoO**

"What a jungle."

"Christmas shopping?"

****

**OoOoO**

MISCOMMUNICATION

"I didn't say go streaking!"

**OoOoO**

"I didn't say _buy_ rubbers!"

**OoOoO**

"I didn't say _give_ head!"

**OoOoO**

"I didn't say ball gag!"

**OoOoO**


End file.
